


Kill The Lights

by gaylien528



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug-Induced Sex, Drugs, F/F, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, considering that other tag, gonna get angsty as fuck, language I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:10:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylien528/pseuds/gaylien528
Summary: Peridot is the ideal anti-social nerd who doesn't grasp what it is to have a social life. Lapis has had her eye on Peridot for a while and aims to draw her into her intoxicating lifestyle. Friendship is one thing, but this? This is one hell of a connection. Rated M for content to come.





	1. Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I failed to write this prior to the first chapter of this story, but I wanted to clarify the inspiration of this story. I went through a turbulent friendship that was very close to a relationship a couple times throughout the years, and near the end of it, I related the two of us to Peridot and Lapis because of Barn Mates and the things we were going through at the time, and in general, our overall attitudes really stood out as one and the other. I'm still coping with this technical relationship, and I wanted to convey it in writing somehow, and I took a Lapidot fic as the perfect outlet. so, enjoy the second hand telling of my chaotic relationship with the girl I still consider to be my best friend, though we haven't spoken in 8 months. I don't know how this story will end yet, so, let's find out together.   
> this story, starting with this chapter, is scheduled to address drug and alcohol abuse as well as self harm, and I am hoping I'm courageous enough to put some sexual encounters into it. you have been warned.   
> ~Ash   
> xxxxx

The bedroom door slammed shut behind Peridot Olivine followed by the clicking of a lock as she let out a sigh, trudging over to her cushioned office chair in front of her old computer monitor. Dropping her backpack besides the wooden desk, she let herself fall into the seat and leaned back closing her eyes, relaxing her muscles slowly. She sat in the welcoming silence for some minutes before a soft 'mew' came from her side. Opening her eyes, she smiled down at the small black kitten she had recently adopted and leaned over, picking him up and setting him in her lap, stroking his soft fur as she watched him lean into her touch.

"Hey, Hex..." she murmured gently scratching under his chin. She leaned back into her chair and stared at the monitor's screen, which was on screen saver mode, a picture of a giant alien head staring back at her with empty black eyes. Giving the small creature a scratch behind his ear with one hand, she used the other to grip the mouse and awoke the computer from its sleep. 

Peridot's bright green eyes scanned over her messenger notifications, some old, some new, and she began to pick and choose who she felt like dealing with that day. Setting Hex by her keyboard, she leaned forward and started clicking out responses to a few messages. Sour Cream was requesting extra notes he had probably zoned out for in class that morning; Amethyst was making sure their weekly study date was still on for that evening at The Big Donut; Lars, who would be working at the donut shop that night, was asking her to spare him some money until he got paid (she rolled her eyes but agreed, knowing avoiding it would only lead to more annoyances); and the rest she cared to answer were all from various teachers, letting her know of extra credit she could participate in, if she wished. She did wish to participate in all of it. 

Finishing the last message to her English teacher, Peridot looked over the rest of the messages with disinterest. Ronaldo, Jaime, Kevin, they could all wait. Until the end of time, even. Clicking her teeth, Peridot went to exit the messenger when a new name caught her eye, the avatar only displaying a deep blue eye staring through strands of lighter but still dark blue hair. 

_waterwitch718?_

Staring at the name, the blonde ran through a list of people in her mind who she had not yet added on the app, but could not place a single person to the name on her screen. She ran the mouse over the unopened message, debating whether or not she should read it. It had been sent late the night before, and she had failed to see it until this moment.  


Chewing on her lip subconsciously, Peridot reread the name a few times before looking to her left at her tiny pet. 

"Well? What do I do?" she inquired of the feline. His green eyes met hers and they stared each other down before he let out another soft mewl and pounced at her free hand. Smiling and watching Hex, Peridot quickly made up her mind, having put some word play together, and looked back at the screen, clicking the name as she took a slow breath. The message popped open.

_Hi, I know you don't know me, and this isn't something I normally do, but I wanted to introduce myself. I got your screen name from a mutual friend that I have a class with. my name is Lapis, I've been going to school with you for 6 years, and, I'm sorry if this is strange, but I've always wanted to approach you, but I never knew how to. I'm not even sure how I've found the courage to write and send this to you. I don't really expect you to respond, this is weird enough as it is and I'm sure you're put off. but I decided it was time I try to speak to you, somehow. so, I guess if you ever get bored and want to chat, you now have my screen name. okay. thanks for at least humoring me and reading this. have a good night, Peridot._

_~L.L. ___

__Peridot sat back, blinking in disbelief at the bizarre message she had just read, then began to reread it once more. Once she was sure she had read what she thought she had the first time, she stood up and went to her mini-fridge, opening it and pulling out a neon green can that contained her favorite energy drink, Zap. Absentmindedly popping the tab, she took a few sips as she sat back down, staring at the message for a third time, running her free hand through her mess of hair._ _

__Who would ever want to talk to her? What for? She was a recluse who only really socialized for the sake of her education. By the average teenager's standards, she was one of the least interesting life forms she could think of. 6 years? That in itself dated back to middle school. She had never even heard of a Lapis in her grade! Her mind went through a small whirlwind as she stared at the keyboard. Did she even want to answer? She was curious as to why this Lapis felt like she was someone to approach._ _

__She was also on high alert as to why someone followed her for so long and stayed so quiet._ _

__Her logical mind was at war with itself, which was another cause for alert. Logic overtook all. If logic was questioned and thought on too long, what did that equate to? She couldn't manage a proper answer, even thinking on it for 20 minutes, which is how long flew by before she realized she should finally make some sort of conclusion._ _

"Why not?" she murmered, setting her fingers upon the keyboard. She began to type.

_Greetings, Lapis._

_This is certainly something unconventional to receive, but do not worry about it. I'm intrigued, in a way, as to why someone would want to be in touch with me for any reason, but I suppose it's not the strangest request I have received. I have a lot of time to kill once I get home and am done with my studies, so if you wish to interact, I am open to it. I hope you are having a pleasant evening. Thank you for your time._

_-Peridot, out._

She cringed at herself as she moved the arrow of her mouse to the 'send' option and clicked it. Could she have sounded any more pathetic? Then again. Someone watching her for so long must not care how she sounds. 

__Which brought her back to reality after she thought on it._ _

__What sort of person would just casually watch another for such an amount of time without actually contacting them? Why? What did this Lapis think was so fascinating about her that she had to sit back in silence and keep up with her to the point where the first actual interaction she made was through an online messaging system? And, honestly, what sort of person had the avatar that this mysterious girl had?!_ _

__A grimace crossing her face, Peridot looked back to Hex, who was on his back, clawing at the air with his paws. Her face softened and she picked him up, holding him to her while rubbing his belly as he let out a low purr and clawed at her fingers. She chuckled and held him closer, relaxing as she stroked his fur before letting out a sigh._ _

__"Well, whatever, right?"_ _

__She let out a yawn and stood clutching Hex to her as she walked to her bed and stretched herself across it. A nap sounded perfect at this point. She would awake and take care of her school work in an hour or two. Or later. Smiling and setting Hex to her side, she continued to pet his head and slowly closed her eyes, drifting off into a slumber that would last for as long as her mind would allow it._ _

__Her mind was not a complicated thing. Yet it was. She was constantly going at school, juggling all of her classes and grades perfectly to be sure that she was ahead of the game, to be sure that one day, she could possibly attain valedictorian and pride herself on 4 long years of studying and secluding herself from the general population that she found to be, honestly, quite revolting. She had her friends, yes, but the rest of her school's residence left her wanting. However, at the same time, when she could afford to, she would be the world's biggest slacker. Games and sleep and the occasional marathon of her favorite TV show took up her free time, and she tried to make as much free time available as she could for such things. It was not a hard life to manage, but she often found herself stressing from the energy she put into these activities. This stress led to more sleeping over time, and though she knew she could be spending extra energy in school work or something else more productive, like obtaining a new hobby, she constantly found herself longing for the small paradise that sleep promised her._ _

__She dozed off before she could hear the small ping from her computer, signaling a new message._ _


	2. Reciprocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis' POV upon receiving Peridot's message.

Dark blue hair flew out of more then bluer eyes as her head snapped up, having caught the chime of a newly received message from her laptop. She sat frozen for a moment, staring at the screen with a look of intense focus on her face while clutching a glass in her hand, a concoction of rum and soda withheld inside of it, courtesy of her older half-sibling. The corner of the screen flashed a red notification at her and she slowly reached over to where it sat on her frameless mattress, tugging it into her lap as she took a long draw from the glass. Setting the drink down on the floor to her side, Lapis Lazuli continued to stare at the startling alert flashing in her face. 

_gaylien528. No way. She replied._

She slid the mouse over the message and opened it, quickly reading through the reply anxiously, then leaned her head back against the wall as she took it in, a small drunken smile breaking across her face. She hardly ever smiled, drunk or sober, and she hardly ever received messages. Even from her small collection of friends, she rarely heard from them outside of school and impulsive gatherings. No one bothered to deal with her. True, she had never spontaneously reached out to someone like she did with this specific girl, but, it remained that she was not someone others thought to speak with very much. The reply was unexpected, and greatly appreciated. 

Picking up the glass and sitting forward, she took another long drink before setting it back down and proceeded to type up her reply, as cautious as the thought she should have been about it. 

_Hi, Peridot!_

_I'm glad to have heard from you. I was worried I was being too abrasive and weird...but I'm glad you replied. I have a lot of free time, too. I really wanna talk to you when you have the time. I know you study a lot. I just, I really have been wanting to talk to you for so long. so, thank you. I hope your night is going well. you've always caught my eye throughout the years, I know that's weird, but it's true. you just always stood out to me. I'll tell you more about it later, if time allows. I'm really happy to hear from you. again. thank you. really. so, message whenever you'd like, I'll be here. no life and all. heh. oh, I have the same lunch as you every other day, which tomorrow will be one of them, sooo...I'll come find you, if that's alright. okay, ttyl, or whatever, ha. have a good night, hope to hear from you soon. bye. thank you._

She clicked 'send' with shaking fingers and sat back, grabbing her drink and taking yet another long gulp from it, letting the mixture settle into her veins as her muscles relaxed from her second most adventurous message, next to the first one she had sent to Peridot. She clutched the glass in her hands and let her eyes wander to the side, absentmindedly clicking open her Spotify to let t.A.T.u. pop up and start streaming one of her favorite songs, "Nas Ne Dagoniat"...a Russian version of the first song of the English album, but, none the less, she loved it all the same. It held the same meaning and emotion as the more easily understood adaption. As she listened from her far off mental state, she let a small smile cross her face. 

She had never been so intrigued by another person as she was by this little nerd. 

And the fact that she had actually answered her, it left Lapis all but dumbfounded. 

No one cared about her. No one. Not her family, or even her so called friends. Or so she felt. She knew they cared, but...no one knew her, and she didn’t know if she wanted to let anyone know her the way she longed for...besides, maybe, possibly, this girl. This girl who had caught her attention 6 years ago. From simply being herself and not caring how anyone else regarded her appearance or social standing. By just...being her own self. It was more than Lapis could understand, and it was more than she ever thought she'd come to admire, but, she had, come to admire it, that is. 

She never would have even acknowledged her unless Pearl and all her snootiness hadn't said something about her in the first place. Yes, it was six years ago, and yes, middle school was something else to take into consideration as opposed to senior year, but, at the time, Pearl's opinion meant a lot to other students. Pearl had been openly and loudly mocking how secluded the green eyed blonde girl seemed to be in the middle of their keyboarding class, which Lapis shared with both of them. Lapis had then shifted her attention to Peridot, who, nonchalantly, continued her learning as if nothing was taking place. She seemed to have completely blocked out the world that was around her for something much more than it all. Clicking away at the keyboard, gaze fixed upon the screen that supplied them their learning material for the day. 

Since then, Lapis was hooked. 

Hooked on this idea that this girl could be something in her life, no matter how chaotic it got. That, no matter what came to face either of them, they could possibly be one and the same, blocking it all out for something bigger. 

Which was something that rang her back into the present world, as she took another swig of her Captain Morgan dark spiced rum and Dr. Pepper.

Her current life was a mess. Her mother. Her father. Her god damn half sibling. Her family. Her... _home life_. Accepting someone else into her way of life, as the way she wanted, would prove to be a challenge...but, she felt, if it was fit, Peridot could do it.

She could easily walk into her house and be at ease. She could block out all of the trouble they all represented and just easily stare past it all with those sharp green half lidded eyes. She could be herself without any worry of who looked at her and questioned anything that she brought to the table as she ate a homemade meal from it. No matter what it was. 

Lapis inhaled sharply as she set her glass down and the song changed to t.A.T.u.'s cover of "How Soon Is Now?" by The Smiths and stared at her message.

She could only hope, that, somehow, beyond hope, this girl decided that she wanted to be part of her life. Something tugged her to that hope.

She _wanted_ Peridot in her life.

She _needed_ Peridot in her life. 

At this point, Lapis had no one else. She _wanted_ Peridot there. She had for so many years, though she never truly acknowledged it. And now, upon a reply from this usually antisocial girl, she had the faintest glimmer that...it was possible.

She desperately hoped this was the case as she pulled her laptop closer, watching the notification bar, and downed the last of her alcoholic drink before letting her head hit the wall as her eyes fluttered close for a small inebriated nap.


	3. Jolted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot's POV, realizing how soon it will be until she meets her mysterious friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a pro at this slow burn thing already. don't worry. I've got some intensity coming up.

Peridot awoke with a start, already angry at herself knowing she had slept far past her intended amount of time. Her anger was confirmed as she ripped her cellular from her pocket, glaring at the time on the screen.

_11:45 PM_

A deep growl came from the blonde's throat as she threw her phone at the wall opposite of her, lost in the sensation of rage as she screeched in a hushed voice, "Are you **FUCKING** kidding me?!" Her hands raked through her wild hair and tugged as she squeezed her eyes shut, internally screaming at herself for her lack of responsibility. Yes, she was okay with the idea that she would sleep longer than a couple of hours, but, NO, she was NOT okay with the fact that she had slept almost eight hours, which was much, much longer than planned!

Letting out a deep groan, Peridot pushed herself out of the slight comfort her bed could provide at that moment and launched herself into her chair, quickly awakening the screen to pull up messages to Sour Cream, Amethyst and Lars, furiously typing out her apologies to each one for her absence while quickly attaching half-assed notes from the top of her head to send to the blond boy she shared a class with. Amethyst and Lars would have to wait on their expectations, seeing as how it was almost midnight and she saw no way to possibly make it out of her mother's watchful gaze so late to study notes with the lavender haired girl and sneak money to the slacking punk-ass she usually tried to avoid. She groaned again as she sent the messages, ready to close out of the chat app's window so she could take favor over some extra credit assignments, when the blinking notification for _waterwitch718_ finally caught her eye with the dark blue one staring her down. Her anger died down instantaneously as she scrolled over the name for the tenth time that very same day.

_Oh...right...this..._

Clicking the notification, she scanned the reply, looked down guiltily, then hesitantly brought her hands back to her keyboard to pen a response.

_Lapis,_

_I slept past my expectations this evening. I am sorry for the late reply. However, do not worry, again, about coming off as strange or anything of the likeness. I'm not too normal myself, I suppose. Ha. You have a lunch period with me? Well. You seem to know where to find me, so, I'll be in my usual spot. I guess I shall see you soon. We will get better acquainted when we have the available time. I hope your night went well. Good night._

_-P._

Sighing, Peridot clicked 'send' then continued to open her teachers' emails about potential extra credit assignments, the mysterious girl's messages in the back of her head as she observed the offers her teachers held. She tried her best to concentrate on the challenges presented to her, but found herself straying mentally every other sentence as her thoughts were brought back to Lapis.

_...what could she possibly want from me...?_

A ping startled her from the indulgent thought and her wide eyes whipped towards the corner of her laptop. A new message from the Water Witch herself. Staring at the name, Peridot clicked it, all attention from her teachers gone as she read the newest message in the chain she and Lapis had recently begun.

_hey, it's no worries, Peridot. I'm just glad you answered at all._

_I'll find you. just look for blue, you'll know it's me, haha. my night is not ideal, but, hey. I'll live. sleep tight, Peri._

_~L.L._

Blinking at the short lived response, Peridot exited the window quickly and rubbed her chest before looking to her pet, who was curled up in the corner of her bed despite her activity. His body rose and fell with his breaths, his claws extending every so often as if subtly attacking in his dreams. Peridot smiled slow and soft, feeling her own anxiety ease at watching Hex. Looking once more to the clock, she sighed, knowing she needed to at least try and get some more sleep. Picking up her long forgotten energy drink, she stood and stretched yawning before making her way to the mini-fridge, popping it open and placing the can in the door's shelf, making a mental note that it would be there when she woke up, once more, hopefully ready to take on the day after such a prolonged hibernation.

Peridot gazed around lazily, her tired eyes falling on her forest green Camp Pining Hearts shirt and black, silken basketball shorts; her night time attire. Quickly shedding her simple black t-shirt and dark blue jeans, she slipped the basketball shorts over her alien head printed boxers and stretched her arms into the slightly-too-big-for-her graphic tee, pulling it over her head and adjusting it to fit her form smiling contently. Her sleep had been deep before, but being in comfortable clothing always helped her sleep deeper.

Slowly sighing, she lifted the neon green comforter on her bed and crawled under it, letting her hand rest on Hex's head, stroking behind his ear and her eyes heavily shut and she began her descent into sleep, with a small resounding thought in the back of her mind, as it had been while reading her teachers e-mails.

_I meet Lapis tomorrow._

This jolted her into an awakened state once more and she turned to lay on her back, staring at the ceiling as she took in this idea. Her green eyes narrowed and her hand moved back to her chest, wondering what could be causing this nervous feeling in her body. She was used to anxiety, and it seemed to be similar, but this...this reached much deeper than her basic reactions.

She was going to meet the girl who had, apparently, been keeping tabs on her for years. She did not know what to make of this. Why was Lapis so interested in her? Who would watch another human like that so casually for so long? All of her previous thoughts came rushing back into her mind as she stared at the ceiling even longer, unsure of her ability to fall asleep as all sorts of scenarios and ideas flooded her consciousness.

"Well...I hope she likes zombies...cause I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon..." Peridot muttered to herself, slowly pulling off her thin rimmed glasses and setting them to the side, only half attempting to close her eyes as she continued to let her thoughts roam for a few more hours as Hex breathed deeply in and out besides her the whole time.


	4. Rushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis quickly prepares for the day, excited to meet her new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, couldn't think of much to add into this one. I've already written chapter 5 and it will be a bit lengthier.  
> Also, I truly appreciate all the positive feedback I'm getting in your reviews! I don't have a set day I'm going to be posting chapters, it depends on when I have time off of work or if I can't sleep and such. so, enjoy, and thanks for your patience~

Her mellow rock anthem alarm rang out loudly, disrupting the semi-peace she had found in her less than vivid dreams. Her hand snaked over to her phone to silence Blue October's "Into The Ocean" and she slowly sat up, her head still spinning from the previous night's alcoholic intake. Blinking lazily, Lapis checked her phone's battery percentage—64, not bad at all—and she let out a yawn that ended as a sigh as she stood up and began to stretch her limbs. Daylight was creeping into her room past dark blue curtains and she grimaced, almost dreading the fact that her day had just begun.

Almost.

Perking up slightly, she grabbed a towel set on her dresser by her door and opened it to step out into the hallway, bolting into the bathroom and locking it behind her to enjoy a quick warm shower. She finished 10 minutes later, stepping out and wringing her dyed hair into the towel before wrapping it around her and running back to her room, vaguely wishing in the back of her mind that she lived alone so she wouldn’t have to worry about the privacy factor. Even if no one in her family truly bothered her outside of all of their set schedules, she hated with a passion that there were other beings around her constantly. All she craved was seclusion and was sore that she could not obtain that desire at this point.

Lapis made her way into her closet and looked at her clothing options for the day. This was usually pretty vital to her, she liked to express herself as she felt daily, but right now, all she felt was the anxious twisting in her gut as she stared at her selection of shirts and pants, knowing today was going to be slightly different. She never dressed to impress anyone else, but today, she wanted to be sure she left a good impression on her hopeful new friend.

Chewing on her lip, she let her hands wander through the fabric of her graphic tees and mulled over the thoughts in her head. She didn't know if this hopeful new friend liked any of the music she did, so she would have to do her best in picking out which shirt she presented herself in. Her pants...well, they were mostly all blue denim, but she did own some black, as well. She went back over her shirts before settling on a specially ordered dark green Death Cab For Cutie shirt, a number sign made out of 4 antique looking keys in tribute to their Codes and Keys album. She then selected a pair of one of the few black pairs of pants she owned and walked out of the closet, throwing the articles of clothing on her bed as she went to her drawer, yanking it open and pulling out a pair of boxer-briefs and a bra. She quickly dropped her towel and donned them before grabbing her pants and pulling them on and drawing the shirt over her figure, grinning happily at the ensemble before taking a pair of socks out of the drawer and shutting it, setting herself down on her bed to pull the socks on. She picked up her black Vans and shoved them on her feet before standing to grab a dark grey plaid over shirt with the sleeves rolled up from her closet door knob.

Stopping in front of her full length mirror next to her door, Lapis ruffled her drying hair and smirked as she grabbed her black beanie from her desk, the letters MCR stitched in white on the brim, then picked her navy blue messenger bag up from underneath the desk, slinging it over her shoulder. She picked up her phone from her bed and slid it into her pocket, putting her beanie atop her head and taking a breath before throwing her door open and stepping out into the hallway. She looking both ways before running down the hall towards the front door, grabbing her car keys from the rack next to it. Before she could open the door, a gruff voice came from behind her, causing her to freeze momentarily.

"Well, you're in quite a rush today."

Recognizing the voice as her half-sister's, Lapis inhaled sharply before turning to glare at her.

The tall brute of a girl had her arms crossed as she leaned against the wall next to the door entering the living room. She must have been on the couch when she looked for clearance. Her platinum blonde hair spilled over her shoulders and she wore an ugly smirk as she watched Lapis preparing to leave the house. She wore her dark red wrestling uniform, her headgear sitting just inside the living room. Her tan face and arms held stripes across them, which upon closer inspection, one would realize was scar tissue. An accident as a child had left her with permanent skin damage, but, lo and behold, Jasper had been the type to conquer any disability and oozed self-confidence in everything she did. However, Lapis knew that her constant toxic mood was derived from the traumatic experience that left her streaked. No matter how she overcame any obstacle, it was more than obvious Jasper still held some sort deep seated feelings about the event. Lapis rolled her eyes, breaking away from her thoughts and shook her keys in an annoyed manner.

"Don't wanna be late for school, Jasper."

A smug expression broke out over Jasper's face as she stalked forward, amusement dancing in her eyes as she watched the smaller girl. "Yeah...I'm so sure that's the reason, Miss Delinquent." she laughed, the sound holding some resemblance to a car tire backing up over gravel, grating on the blue haired girl's ears. Lapis continued to glare up at all 6 feet of the athlete before roughly opening the door and stepping outside.

_"Bye."_

Without waiting for a response, Lapis slammed the door and briskly walked to her car, an old beat up Saturn, originally white but painted over in dark blue as per Lapis' drunken decision. She unlocked the door and sat herself in the driver's seat, shutting it fast. As she buckled her seat belt and started the car, her mind ran over the fact for the hundredth time of how much blue was in her life. She let the anger she felt from Jasper drain from her and chuckled a bit, moving the car into drive and began to speed down the street towards Beach City High, a loud rock song from The Airborne Toxic Event blaring from her CD compartment, her heart leaping in her chest at the thought of what lunch period held in store for her that day. Her eyes danced over the streets and buildings in front of her, her thoughts wandering back and forth about what she should say to evoke conversation with Peridot Olivine. She looked up to the rearview mirror, a small blue teardrop shaped charm hanging from it and she giggled as she flicked it with her middle and index finger.

What could she say? When she took an interest in something, she obsessed.


	5. Interaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A worn out Peridot discovers the culprit for her situation and meets a mysterious Lapis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the point where the roller coaster is almost to the top of the tracks, but not quite, but you can tell it won't be long until you're plummeting down into a whirlwind of twists and turns.

Today was not her day.

Peridot had stayed up until an hour and a half before her alarm went off to wake her for school. As much sleep as she had gotten before that, she still felt drained and now opened her second energy drink in her third period class, English, which, to her, was a relaxing one. In the case this Zap was not the one to awaken her mentally, she carried a third one in her backpack to have for lunch, which was next upon the agenda. Her throat tightened and she took a long sip of the drink in hopes it would clear up the uncomfortable sensation. It did little to relieve her.

She had never felt so wound up about a social interaction in her life. Yes, she faced normal interaction very much, but that was something she had gotten used to. A steady schedule, even. She knew when she started new semesters that she would be meeting new people, or if she decided to join a club every now and then, which was a rare occasion, she knew to prepare herself for that before it all took place. This new situation hit her out of nowhere, and she wasn't sure how to cooperate with it. It left her feeling rather hopeless, honestly. Cast out to an pitch black icy sea without even so much as a door to float upon.

A slap on her back startled her back into the world of the living and she subtly choked on the gulp of Zap she had just been taking before glowering at her best friend as she dropped herself into the desk next to the blonde's. "Heeey, Peri! Zoning more than usual, I see...c'mon, don't look at me like that!" Amethyst Lavandula held up her hands in response to Peridot's glare, eyes widening at the unnatural reaction from the other girl. "Yikes...I'm sorry...you good?" she murmured, unsure about asking much more.

Peridot growled softly then sighed and let her gaze flick to the front of the classroom, watching as the laggers came in at the sound of the bell, relaxing her shoulders and sipping again from the can. "...didn't sleep right." she muttered back, adjusting her thin framed glasses.

Amethyst watched her curiously and tilted her head. "Wanna talk about it...?"

"No. Well. Not now. Later. Soon. Later." Peridot bit her tongue and set her energy drink down, pulling her backpack up to her side and taking out her assignments and slamming them on her desk as Amethyst nodded slowly, the purple haired girl taking a quarter of the work out of her own backpack.

"Gotchya."

Peridot winced and slunk down in her chair, holding back her apology in embarrassment as she began to double check her worksheets. When she was content with it all, she turned her attention to the teacher, who began to drone on about their lesson for the day. She didn't really care to hear the in class explanations and discussions. She took everything home and did the work herself with the help of her somewhat outdated textbook. That's what the internet was for, anyway.

She didn't realize how fast the time flew until the bell rang once more and she caught herself doodling small aliens on her worksheets. Sighing, she stood and downed the rest of her drink, pulling her backpack onto her shoulder and gathering up her prematurely finished homework. She waited for Amethyst to collect her belongings and they made their way up to the teacher's desk, setting their work on top of it and walking out of the classroom, Peridot throwing the empty can into the trash can by the door.

"Ahh, finally, lunch! My favorite subject!" Amethyst cheered, pumping her fist in the air with a grin on her face. Peridot's steps faltered before looking up to stare at her friend, realizing what she had just declared.

_Oh, shit. **Oh, shit.**_

Shaking her head quickly, the blonde caught up to Amethyst and clutched at the fabric inside of her hoodie pockets, where her hands had already been buried. She didn't know what to say. Lapis was going to come and find her and she didn't know how to warn her best friend about the new appearance they were both going to face at the same time. She was not prepared whatsoever for this. She opened and closed her mouth a few times down the long main corridor of the school, always struggling to find the way to start the conversation, but around the sixth time she attempted it, as they reached the cafeteria doors, Amethyst turned to grin at her.

"I'll be there soon, Per! Enjoy your boring old sandwich, I got some pizza waiting on me!"

And she was off.

Groaning loudly, Peridot slipped through the door and made a beeline to a table placed near the back of the room, set beside some windows and pillars to give it a slightly secluded look, but it held a lovely view. Settling down in the seat closest to the wall, the short blonde stared outside to watch some of the rose bushes that were set up along the walkway leading to a door not far from the tables. She chewed her lip before looking to her backpack and unzipped it, pulling a metal Camp Pining Hearts lunch box from its paper littered depths and set it on the table. Unlocking its clasp, she pulled out her extra Zap and popped it open, beginning to chug what she could in an attempt to finally wake herself up for the event that was scheduled to take place within the next 25 minutes.

A tray landed on the table and she jumped, turning to look at Amethyst who was grinning as two more of their friends followed to sit with them. Pearl, in her dance attire, looking slightly worn as she sat down, sighed and nodded at Peridot in acknowledgement, who returned the gesture. She was guessing the constant practice for dance competitions coming up were taking a toll on the pale lanky girl, as she usually looked peppy and spoke instead of using non-verbal communication. She looked to Garnet, receiving a small smile and a wave as she took her place next to Pearl. The tall broader girl was usually non-verbal, save for some various comments based on their conversations as a group. Peridot had rarely spoken with her one on one but had the sense she was wise beyond her years from those small talks. Looking back to Amethyst, she crinkled her nose at the contents of her tray.

"What kind of pizza is _that?_ "

Picking up a slice of the strange looking food, Amethyst took a huge bite and proceeded to speak through with her mouth full, causing Peridot to cringe more as she slightly moved away to avoid any crumbs and spit flying from her speech. "I decided to change it up and asked them to put all the ingredients they had, kinda supreme, but like, extreme supreme!" She swallowed her bite and laughed as she took another bite. "It's so awesome!"

"Yes...well...how creative..." Peridot mumbled, pulling a plastic wrapped turkey sandwich from her lunchbox, peeling the protective layer off of a corner so she could proceed to eat. The group all focused on their food silently for a while before Peridot felt her insides squirm anxiously. "Uh...so..." she began, reaching for the Zap can. She found hersef failing to continue, for at that moment, a movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she turned to find herself staring at an unfamiliar girl with dark blue hair staring right back at her as she cautiously approached the table. Her mind jolted awake as her heart leapt into her throat and she nervously began to chug her drink quickly.

_Oh, stars._

Amethyst followed her gaze then grinned as she spotted the newcomer.

"Lapis! You finally decided to join us!"

A light bulb clicked on in Peridot's head and she swiveled her narrowed gaze to the teen next to her, putting the pieces together as Amethyst moved over to make room for Lapis. Amethyst was the mutual friend who Lapis had received her screen name from, and she had most definitely failed to warn Peridot about the whole situation. Peridot opened her mouth to hiss a comment along the lines of _"What the fuck?!"_ at her friend but was cut off as Lapis slowly took a seat next to her, setting her bag on the ground and glancing at the blonde with a slight smile. Peridot blinked and set her can down, feeling her face flush as their eyes met and gave her an awkward wave.

Lapis then looked around the table quickly and seemed to falter before speaking. "Yeah, heh, hey...um, kinda got tired of sitting alone..." she murmured, looking down at the table. Peridot watched her quietly, taking in her introverted manner and soft voice with curiosity. She hadn't been sure what to expect from this girl, but she was glad that so far she was calm and not...well, Amethyst.

Speaking of.

Peridot looked back to her friend, her eyes squinting once more. Amethyst looked so smug and proud of herself while shoving the rest of her pizza into her mouth. Pearl and Garnet were both watching the whole scene looking slightly confused before the smaller of the two spoke up, her prim and proper voice laced with exhaustion, as Peridot has suspected earlier.

"Well, anytime you desire company, Lapis, we will gladly oblige." She smiled at the girl gently as Garnet nodded in agreement. Lapis raised her eyes to the dancer, and Peridot caught a cold, hard glint in them suddenly. Her gaze swept over Pearl and she drew her mouth into a tight smile.

"Thanks."

Peridot grabbed her energy drink again, staring ahead while the uncomfortable silence that followed began to creep into her ears, feeling her chest nearly cave in from the uncertainty of what she should say, if anything. She squeezed the can and pulled her cell phone from her pocket, checking the time display. They still had 10 minutes left in the lunch period. Closing her eyes tightly, she slipped the phone back into her pocket and took a small breath. Opening her eyes, she turned her head to Lapis who quickly looked back at her, causing her to stumble over the question she was preparing to ask.

"H-how's your morning going...?" Anything to break the ice.

Lapis seemed to find the question appealing and she leaned forward, placing her head in her open palm and smiled at Peridot, a sight the little blonde found, somehow, endearing. "Boring. Which is usual for me. I have art next though, so...it'll perk up a bit...we're starting a project that seems interesting..." She watched Peridot and smiled more. "Yours?"

"Mine?" Peridot looked back to her hand and raised the can in it. "Lots of this. I didn't sleep well. I'll make it through. All my work is caught up on and I don't see myself needing to pay much attention in classes today." She nodded a bit and looked back at the blue eyes that were watching her so intently, heat flooding her face once more as she drank the last of the liquid. Lapis nodded a bit and looked down at her other hand, beginning to drum the table with her fingers, slowly drawing out her next comment.

"Well...if you're not too tired today...or another day, whenever...I was thinking we could hang out at my house sometime..." She smirked a bit and shrugged. "I have movies and stuff...we could watch something and just kill time...nothing terribly interesting, but...ya know." She flicked her eyes to Peridot and shrugged again. "...if you'd like, I mean."

Peridot blinked rapidly as she nodded in response, speaking before she could even process what she wanted to say. "That sounds agreeable." Lapis' face split into a smile and she suddenly sat up straight, picking up her bag from the floor and standing. Peridot stared at her as she slung the strap over her shoulder and continued to grin at the blonde.

"I'll message you. I need to get some stuff done before class starts. Talk to you later, Peridot." With that, Lapis turned on her heel and began to saunter towards the front of the cafeteria, her hands shoved deep into her pockets, her blue head disappearing behind other teenagers who were beginning to depart from the cafeteria as well.

Stunned by the quick exit Lapis made, Peridot looked to her lunch group, who were all watching her with fascinated looks on their faces. She suddenly raised a pointed finger at Amethyst and growled lowly standing up. " **YOU.** "

A laugh broke out from Amethyst's lips and she jumped up, grabbing her tray full of trash and flashed her friends a toothy grin. "Gotta jet!" She crowed, running past a garbage can and dumping the contents of her tray in it before bolting out the side door, taking a shortcut to a hallway in front of the windows of their table.

Peridot snarled and grabbed her backpack, shoving her lunchbox into it before swinging it onto her back and gathering her trash, muttering the whole time to herself. She glanced up at Pearl and Garnet, freezing awkwardly for a moment. "Err, I'll...see you guys..." she whispered, running off to avoid any questioning and strange stares the two offered.

The two girls looked to each other and Pearl placed a hand over her mouth in thought, rubbing the side of her face with her thumb. Garnet sighed and nodded.

"I know, Pearl. We can't do anything, though."

Frowning, Pearl removed her hand and looked to the darker girl who was putting her sunglasses on as she stood. "Garnet, how can you say that? Of course we can...we have to intervene!" she declared exasperatedly, standing up to follow her friend as they dumped their trays and set them on the end of a lunch line.

"Pearl, Peridot has free will. We cannot disrupt what she is going to choose for herself."

Pearl crossed her arms and the two walked out into the hallway, facing each other as Pearl slowly nodded, looking at Garnet with obvious disapproval written on her face. "...you're right...as usual...I just don't want to see what comes of this..." Looking down, Pearl sighed and Garnet reached out to hug her.

"It'll be alright. Get to class. I'll see you later. Don't stress about this. Focus on you." Garnet gave Pearl a small smile and nodded, patting her back. "Trust me." She turned and began to walk towards the gym, leaving Pearl to throw her hands in the air in defeat as she made her way to the choir hall.

"For the love of the cosmos..." she grumbled, worry twisting her stomach into a knot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do Pearl and Garnet know that Amethyst and Peridot are oblivious to?


	6. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis take the day's event into mind and further their communication. More insight into both of their characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starting now, I will be switching POVs throughout the chapters so that they have more content to read. I hope you guys enjoy this change, I don't want to keep you reading short ass chapters as this builds up. I'm getting impatient enough as it is. B( haha, thanks for all the feedback! <3

Pulling out her flask from the easily accessible zipper pocket of her bag, Lapis set her shoulders against the wall in the bathroom stall closest to the art rooms as she slid to a sitting position and screwed the cap open. She lifted it to her lips and tilted her head back to let the refreshing self-made screwdriver slide down her throat, satisfied with the combination she had measured out. Of course it was way more vodka than it was orange juice, but that's what made it taste better, as well as made her feel better. She set the flask on her knee and bounced it up and down softly, tongue running over the back of her lip as she played the fresh memory of the lunch room back in her mind.

She had _not_ been expecting to see Pearl sitting with Peridot. How had the two even become friends? It had been bothering her the moment she spotted the peach haired ballerina at the same table. Peridot usually only sat with Amethyst, from what she had noticed. Of course Pearl had to be there the day she had scheduled to meet with the blonde. She had more in mind she was prepared to say than the few sentences she spit out upon her startling discovery. Rolling her eyes, Lapis took another drink from the flask, savoring the burning she was rewarded with.

Well, no matter. She had finally spoken to Peridot, who had agreed to spend time at her house with her soon. It surprised and excited Lapis so much she had to leave before she completely made a fool out of herself. Her nerves were dancing, and she needed the small break to sip from her flask before going to art to begin a new project. She tilted her head, trying to remember the subject for it. It was just out of her memory's reach, but she was still looking forward to it, nonetheless. Art class was another one of her small escapes, and she enjoyed all the time she spent in there. Mrs. Quartz-Universe often had her husband drop their son Steven off to the class for an amount of time during his lunch break from Beach City Middle School, and he was always a pleasure to be around. He made everyone in the class smile and feel good about their artistic ventures, and Lapis felt no different. Sometimes he gave her funny looks, like he could tell she was under some sort of influence, but he was always gentle and kind to her anyway and the two got along well.

Checking her phone quickly, Lapis took a few more pulls from the flask before tightening the cap back on, slipping it back into her zipper pocket and fastening it. She stood a bit too quick, having to regain her balance and giggled, flushing the toilet to give anyone in the restroom the impression she had taken care of some business as opposed to just hiding out for some mysterious reason. She threw the stall door open and washed her hands quickly before drying them, throwing the paper towels carelessly into the garbage bin. Checking herself over in the mirror, she had a fleeting hope that Peridot had approved of her shirt, if she'd even noticed in the first place. She spent so much time staring at other things, and if she did look at Lapis, it was direct eye contact. Lapis smiled subtly.

She liked the direct eye contact she had shared with the nerd.

She heard the 2 minute bell ring and quickly ran out of the bathroom towards her art class, smiling when she saw Steven standing beside the giant pink door that had a yellow star painted across the middle with various students signatures and doodles scrawled over it from the years. Steven's eyes lit up as he spotted her, throwing his arms out wide. "LAAAPIS!" he cheered, catching her in a hug as the two laughed together. "Are you ready for the project?!" he gasped, eyes wide and starry as he watched her. She nodded eagerly, entering through the door and throwing up a clenched fist.

"Let's do this, buddy!"

**xxxxx**

The rest of Peridot's day flew by uneventfully. Following lunch, she attended her chemistry class, then calculus and finally her government class. She conversed with her teachers shortly about the extra credit they were all offering and gathered the assigned work in her extra binder, making plans to follow up on everything immediately before she realized it was actually a Friday. She wouldn't have to rush it as much as she had originally planned. Of course, none of the sheets were even really due for another two weeks, but she liked to be ahead of the game. Considering her lack of sleep however...well, she could just give herself a small break, she finally concluded.

As the final bell rang, the little blonde zipped up her backpack and slung a strap over her shoulder, lumbering out of the government class as her teacher bellowed out homework reminders that fell upon deaf ears as all the students took off as fast as they could for their _hard earned_ social time. Clicking her teeth, Peridot made her way to the courtyard that was beyond the lunch room, where the buses gathered to pick up students and carry them on their routes before ceremoniously dumping them all off at their assigned housing units. Her parents were never home from work at this time and therefore Peridot had the option to take a long walk or cram herself onto a bus full of loud, hormonal teenagers. She wasn't sure which she dreaded most.

The walk always came in close to winning, if she were being completely honest with herself.

"P-DOT!" her best friend's voice rang out to her and she hunched her shoulders, gritting her teeth together as she turned to observe Amethyst running over waving her hand. She caught up to the slightly taller girl and gave her a cheeky smile. "Heeey, since you squelched on that study date last night, wanna head over to the Big Donut and knock out a session?" Upon seeing Peridot's stance and the daggers shooting from her eyes, Amethyst chuckled a bit and held up her hands in front of her. "Hey, uh...so...did you make any new friends at school today...?"

" _I cannot believe you._ "

"Really? Hmm. Seems like something I'd do, what's not to believe?" 

Scratching the back of her head, Amethyst blushed under Peridot's unwavering glare and sighed. "Periii, c'mon...I wouldn't have given Lapis your information if I thought she'd be a bad addition to your barely existing social circle!" She looked away, crossing her arms. "Besides, she seemed to really wanna reach out to you."

"You didn't even ask me, much less _warn_ me." Peridot groaned, bringing her hand up to her eyes and rubbing them a bit hard. "Today was a total compilation of unnecessary anxiety following a night of terrible sleep brought on by just as much unnecessary anxiety from receiving a cryptic message from a girl I had never even known existed!" She growled and removed her hand, glaring at the girl who was nervously playing with strands of her purple colored hair.

"My bad..." she murmured, looking at Peridot apologetically. "I should have asked...or told you, anyway...I'm sorry...I just wanted you to make another friend..."

Peridot continued to glare at Amethyst for a few more seconds before she sighed and let her shoulders relax. "Wow, thanks. It's okay. I'm sorry. Just. Was not expecting any of the past twenty-four hours to take place. And you know how I hate unexpected happenings." She gave Amethyst a weary look and the girl returned it with a nervous one of her own. "Anyway. Big Donut." She groaned and glanced at the buses, which were getting ready to leave. She'd have to crowd surf over the seats to find herself a proper one that she wouldn't be crammed in. "...sure, just...yeah, I guess. Is your cousin taking you home today?"

Amethyst nodded, looking towards the school's parking lot behind the bus depot. "Sure is! C'mon, she'll be waiting on me. You can take a couple hours to sleep and recharge before we walk there, I know you need to!" she teased the sleepy girl and only got a grunt and a nod in return. Following Amethyst to the parking lot, she spotted Carnelian frantically waving them down and sighed to herself. She definitely did need that nap.

As she opened the door to crawl into the back seat, Peridot's vision fell on a figure with blue hair climbing into the driver's seat of a dark blue car that was parked on the opposite row. She blinked as she caught Lapis' eye, the other girl giving her a bright smile and a small wave before she shut the door and cranked the car, rock music blasting out of her windows as she buckled her seat belt and threw the car in reverse, screeching out of the parking spot. Peridot dumbly waved back and continued to stare as Lapis put the car in drive and sped out of the side exit of the lot towards downtown Beach City.

Amethyst whooped as Carnelian started the car and startled Peridot out of her daze. She quickly buckled her own seat belt, looking up to see Amethyst watching after Lapis' car. "That girl is crazier than she seems, haha! Right on!"

**xxxxx**

Peridot's eyes snapped open as Amethyst all but body slammed her, barely missing the tiny girl to flop down heavily on the mattress next to her. "PERIII! GET UUUP!" she bellowed in her ear, laughing as the shocked blonde bolted up and looked around furiously, forgetting momentarily that she had gone home with Amethyst a few hours prior to the moment.

"WHY, AMETHYST, WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DO THAT?!" she screeched, grabbing a pillow and slapping her friend's face with it as hard as she could, which granted, was not very hard. Laughing uproariously, Amethyst grabbed the pillow and pushed it down on Peridot's face, watching her arms flail around before pulling it away. She continued to laugh as Peridot threw herself onto the floor before standing up, glaring at the very energetic girl.

"Becaaause you were snoring so loud, I had to be sure you could actually hear me!" Amethyst cackled and sprung up, hands on her hips as she beamed at the other. She cut in before Peridot could retort, turning to grab Peridot's discarded hoodie from the corner of her bed and chucking it at her face as she spoke. "C'mon, get your shit together! We're going to get coffee and donuts and do what you do best: be nerds!" She shot the flustered girl finger guns and clicked her tongue a couple times then swooped down and grabbed her backpack, running out of her room, chuckling at her friend's rude awakening.

Peridot pulled her hoodie over her frail form, a string of inaudible curse words coming from under her breath. She picked her backpack up and strung her arms through the straps, hands doing a quick search over her pockets as she made sure her phone and wallet were present. Once she confirmed their presence, she whirled around and darted after Amethyst, who was waiting with one foot out of the front door that she placed down upon seeing the disgruntled nerd. "Be back later, going to study!" Amethyst called out to whoever would happen to be home at the time, shutting the door behind Peridot as she exited. They began to walk down the street, cutting between houses and alleyways to make their trip on foot to the donut shop quicker than it would have been on wheels. The sun was still up, an hour before sunset, so their path was well lit along with a fantastic view of the nearly clear sky. "Sooo, feeling better?" Amethyst giggled, watching Peridot walk with a bounce in her step.

"Actually, yeah. Despite my unpleasant wake up call." She rolled her eyes and shot Amethyst a smile, sliding her hands into the pockets of her jeans and subconsciously rubbed her thumb against the cell phone buried in the right one. "Thanks for letting me get a bit caught up on sleep. I haven't slept so badly in months." She let out a small yawn and smiled once more, turning her eyes to the horizon, where she could vaguely make out the Big Donut's metal sign poking up from the roof of the small building.

Nodding, Amethyst locked her hands behind her head and stretched her shoulders slightly. "No problem...so, the nightmares are going away, I take it?"

Peridot's smile slipped to a frown and she shrugged. "...well, I didn't say that exactly. I've just learned to handle them in the understanding that I prefer to be unconscious more than I do awake." Noting Amethyst's worried look, she lifted her hands out of her pockets, pulling the cellphone with her and gave her a friend a flick of the wrist in disregard. "Don't fret. I'm fine. I'll manage." she delivered shortly, sliding her thumb over the lock screen of her phone to check it for any new activity.

Amethyst sighed and nodded, looking towards the approaching donut shop. "If you say so, P-Dot." Peridot hummed shortly in response as she continued to glance through her phone. They were silent a few more minutes before arriving at the door to the Big Donut, which once opened, welcomed them with the sweet smell of pastries and the counteractive bitter smell of freshly brewing coffee. "Alright! LET'S DO THIS!" Amethyst growled, rushing to the counter to greet the two employees behind the counter. "Laaars, Saaadie, how's it goooing? Gimme all your sweets."

Peridot snapped her gaze from her phone to meet the gaze of the taller employee, her mind suddenly remembering that she had agreed to pay the boy some chump change the night before. Rolling her eyes, she walked up to the counter and pulled out her wallet, pulling two five dollar bills from it and extending the offering to him, slipping the phone into her hoodie. "Here you go, Lars. I passed out last night." she stated flatly. Lars flushed and rolled his eyes right back in response and took the money, muttering a 'thank you' under his breath while glaring at the counter before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking to the back of the store. Peridot turned to Sadie, another shorter girl with blonde curls who watched after Lars shyly.

"Sorry about him...he hasn't been in the best of moods lately..." She smiled at the two friends and handed them two styrofoam cups. "Coffee's on the house tonight. What kind of donuts would you like?" she asked with genuine kindness in her voice.

"ALL THE DONUTS."

"Amethyst, please. I'll take two chocolate coconut flake donuts, please. Don't give this one anymore sugar. I wouldn't be able to handle it." Sadie laughed and Peridot narrowed her eyes. "You think I'm kidding."

Sadie shrugged sheepishly. "Well, if you were her parent, I might listen to you..."

"Yeeeah, MOM." Amethyst barked, leaning over the counter to gaze down at her choices. "I'll taaake...half a dozen glazed raspberry cream donuts with sprinkles!" Peridot groaned and turned to walk to the coffee bar, pumping the pumpkin flavored dark roast liquid into her cup. Sadie set the order on the counter as Amethyst paid her with interest, picking up the box and carrying it to a secluded table in the corner of the store. Peridot set her cup down on the table and shrugged off her backpack, letting it fall to the floor. Amethyst shoved her empty cup into Peridot's hands, smirking at her. "French Vanilla, extra sugar, pleeease." She ignored Peridot's scowl and began to pull her books and papers from her backpack.

Peridot turned and walked back to the coffee bar, grumbling about Amethyst's pushy behavior and began to fill the cup with her friend's desired order. As she stirred in the five packets of sugar, she felt her phone buzz against her hip. Tossing the empty packets into the trash, she pulled her phone out of her hoodie and unlocked it, a new text message catching her eye from an unknown number.

**_hey Peridot, it's Lapis. wanted you to send you a text so you have my number just in case._ **

Stalking back up to the table, now filled with papers and books in an unorganized manner, Peridot held her screen up to Amethyst's face, staring blankly at her as she set her coffee in front of her. Amethyst glanced at the message before smiling weakly up at her best friend. "Oh...right, so...Lapis seemed to _really_ wanna reach out to you."

"I swear to the stars, if you don't pass any of these classes, I'm going to personally strangle you and take immense pleasure in watching the life drain from your eyes for this little stunt."

Amethyst gulped and her eyes widened at the flat, deadly tone which the words were spoken in.

"...noted."

**xxxxx**

Holding her charging phone in one hand and a half empty bottle of rum in the other, Lapis Lazuli stared up at the ceiling, faintly aware of her laptop still playing on shuffle through a playlist she had selected almost an hour ago, before she had consumed a quarter of what was left from the handle she'd acquired from Jasper the previous afternoon. She hadn't dared to move for the last 15 minutes, knowing full well she was more inebriated than she'd meant to be when she started on the remainder of the sweet liquor. She let her eyes wander to her phone, a bit blurry in her vision, and wondered if Peridot had received the text she sent two hours ago. She sighed and slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position to lean against her wall, setting the phone down to pull the laptop from the floor onto her legs stretched out in front of her.

This was her nightly routine. Minus the hope that someone would be contacting her.

She came home, blew through her homework half-assedly, threw her music on and began to drink. Sometimes, depending on the next day's schedule, she'd throw a couple of pills back with it and limit her intake of alcohol; not that it made it any safer, she just didn't want to push her limits, which she had been testing for a few years now. Ever since she and Jasper's mother, after years of fucking around, officially married and moved in with Jasper's father, Lapis constantly searched for highs and had found her mediums for anything she tried over the years. It didn't start out so simple, she had thrown herself into oblivion more than a few times with the naivete expected from someone so new to intoxicating substances. Of course, no one ever really noticed. Or cared. One of the two. She was left to her own survival and judgment, for the most part.

So she adapted to be fine with it.

Lapis wasn't going to reach out for help. She wasn't going to disrupt anyone else's life to bother them with her own issues. Everyone's lives seemed to continue during the nights she feared for her own. Each experience left her feeling stronger than before, made her feel like she was learning herself better than anyone else ever would dare to. She did want loved ones. She did want someone to care. She wasn't going to make anyone deal with her, though.

Her phone buzzed.

Her head turned to stare at her phone as she registered the blinking light that signaled a new text. She let go of her laptop and picked up the phone hastily, flipping it open and setting the rum down on the floor, pressing the message icon and smiling upon reading the response from the blonde she had somewhat properly met that morning.

 ** _Peridot: Hi, Lapis. I was studying with Amethyst. I shall save your number, Water Witch._**

_**cool, that sounds fun. are you busy tomorrow? :)** _

_**Peridot: I could manage to not be busy.** _

Chewing on her lip subconsciously, Lapis picked the bottle back up and swallowed some liquid courage before sending her reply.

_**wanna come over for a while? I promise my movie collection isn't too bad.**_

She wasn't going to _make_ Peridot deal with her. She could decide that for herself in the upcoming future.

**_Peridot: Sure. Where do you live? I can get dropped off._**

**_send me your address, I'll pick you up and take you home when we're done. if that's okay._ **

_**Peridot: As long as you drive in a more controlled manner than I witnessed after school.** _

_**deal. :P let me know when you're ready to go.**_

Lapis threw her phone to the side and capped the bottle, standing up quickly. She forgot that her head was waiting for the action to send her into a dizzy spinning world and grabbed at the wall, pressing her hand to her eyes groaning softly. "Fuck...gotta clean..." she muttered, leaning over to pick up her shoulder bag along with her clothing, which she'd discarded upon arriving into her room and locking it. It just felt so much better to be in her underwear when she got to be alone.

Shaking the dizziness from her mind, she set to work on picking her room up as best as she could manage.

**xxxxx**

Her green eyes stared at the conversation bubbles. Hex sat curled up in her lap, his warmth calming her down from the anxiety that threatened to take over. Peridot took a deep breath and sent Lapis her address, along with a ' ** _good night._** ' She was exhausted after the study session with Amethyst, even if she had gotten to sleep a while and had coffee, and now, she would definitely need to sleep to pass as a human being the next day. She leaned over, placing her phone on the charger and set it down, laying back and staring up at the ceiling, her fingers running through Hex's fur slowly.

 _Calm down. It's okay. It'll be fine. Calm down._ she chanted to herself mentally. It proved to be helpful as her lids drooped down, and she somehow reminded herself to, for once, take her glasses off before she passed out. Her clothes were comfortable enough to sleep in, screw it. All of her energy was gone and she didn't even let the threatening feeling in her stomach for fear of tomorrow keep her awake any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on the next episode of Kill The Lights...Peridot and Lapis' worlds are both expanded, just a bit.


End file.
